Only girl at that party wearing a fake beard and I STILL get laid...
I got a 69.7 in accounting. I have this whole doing the bare minimum down to a science
im giving 12 year olds life advice. this is probably illegal somewhere.
he made a joke about you fucking his daughter...i think youre golden
Just drive me around campus, I will be able to smell their innocence.
It is scary how often "just flash him" is your advice.
just cheers'ed a flock of cattle as i drove past eating a burger i bought 7 hours ago. that high.
No, I don't think your idea of offering shots in exchange for bonus points to your history professor at B-Dubs was a good idea. Especially after you later told him that you would "tap that" in regards to his wife.
Completely smashed, masturbating to the view of the ocean. Family vacations are more tolerable than I thought
It's embarrassing enough people in my life are aware of the ridiculous things that happen to me. I don't think we need to get the whole world involved.
Is it related to planting your seed? Cause I don't know if you have studied the development of a tiny human, but that is some complicated shit.
Isn't everything in a man's life somehow related to him planting his seed?
She was just a sweet cute intern for us until I saw her naked in my bed the day after the Christmas party
I can't decide if I miss drinking or you, they are so closely connected.
Am i obligated to tell my sister her girlfriend was my one night stand three months ago?
Yeah come over whenever. Weed gets here at 8.
I'll be there at 7:59.
Randomize
