Nice. Sry i missed. Also sorry that i pissed on my toothbrush last nite
Sink seemed easy target but balance was no good
I just did something awful... i just had to tell someone... i just used my brothers electric face cleaner as a vibrator
So I had to explain to her that pussy doesn't mean a cat
everyone has their kryptonite. mine just happens to be 18 year old blonde girls.
considering i was high when my dad made me pee in the cup i might fail this one
So, does it mean i'm loose if he can't even tell when he fell out?
Yeah dude. They were so drunk they actually drank the pool water. Which I'm pretty sure will kill them. My parents chlorine the shit out of that thing cuz they know how much sex my brothers have in it
Who spent today in nothing but a vajazzle and candy thong? SORRY NOT SORRY
There is a 90 percent chance I threw up in a mailbox last night....
Woke up to the UT campus police fishing my boxers out of the university pool, guess it was a good night.
And then he said he wanted to "get really weird with me on my horse." I took that as he wants to fuck me while riding my horse. Could be a good time.
Yo this huge scar on my head from the car accident is truly a vag magnet. Probably because I'm telling people I was attacked by a mountain lion and killed it with my bare hands. But hey when life gives you lemons, you use them to get pussy
Do you think there are other mothers looking at porn in the carpool line?
My ex's girlfriend just invited me clubbing. Guess who won the breakup?
my personal favorite... An "I'm sorry you broke your finger and cant play sports for awhile" blowjob!
Randomize
