Gayer than 8 guys blowing 9 guys
wow, that really makes you stop and think.
Who tried to make mustard cubes with the ice cube tray?
somehow you got everyone naked by playing strip rock paper scissors.
so i used to love airports for the escalators... now its the bars... then the escalators after the bars
found your viking helmet in the parking lot this morning, its missing a horn. There was still liquor in the remaining horn. shots from a viking helmet should be mandatory.
just graduated on the spot on the quad where I vommed freshman year. full circle
i'm too stoned to be pregnant. the kicking is morse code for wanting beef jerky.
So i closed my laptop as i started to fall off my bed and then i caught myself and realized that moment of catching myself is the difference between tuesday and friday.
Though I feel a moral obligation to take you there, point out all of the male supervisors and slap you on the wrist and yell, "NO!!"
he kept telling me how much his girlfriend would love me while we were making. why does tequila always do this to me?
Dude, I brought the fucking tequila to that party and they cheered for the chick that seriously only brought limes.
It's Been clinically proven that people who have sex 6 or more times per week are happier than those who don't. Just and FYI. For your mental health. From a soon so be psychologist. Who is drunk.
i just got hit on on the bus. Yes sir, because its every boys dream to fuck a forty year old with a face tattoo
You dove at him but passed out mid dive. Shame it wasnt a costume party your superman suit wouldve been clutch in the situation
Sometimes I look at dogs and just thing about how it's weird we both came from wolves
Lay off the drugs kid
Randomize
