I took shrooms, thc and molly but its okay i'm surrounded by freaks
I peed while puking? Even better
Yes you most deff did. Ultimate multi tasker you are
hapi new year, hope this year brings u happiness and lots of sexi people ;)
stop writing like that.
i dunno what you eat but your cum is all over my underwear and it smells like pretzels
I need a vacation from myself..this is duely noted after I tried giving myself a concussion last night
If I wake up with an unknown penis in me one more time I am literally going to press charges to the makers of tequila.
Some random at the bar just whispered in my ear that he wants to eat me out while on bath salts....
Where are you and why are you fighting with a bird?
Next time I take edibles I'm getting chipotle to cater the event
My dog misses eating marshmallows out of your butt when you're passed out. That bordered on sex abuse, now that I think about it. My bad.
I just found out that there's a bar that has happy hour at 12 pm. It's like the universe doesn't want me to be sober
LIKE ALL I WANT TO CURE MY HANGOVER IS PORKROLL AND LIKE 85% OF THIS COUNTRY DOESN'T KNOW WHAT IT IS
Sitting in the car eating a bagel. Watching a guy do tai chi in the parking lot. My morning is fabulous
I assure you, it was not a Porn Hub Bee Movie parody.
I'm sorry about the fire. I was too fucked up to do science, apparently.
Randomize
