i can juggle bunnies
cool
on fire
This was worse than the time that I shot a bald eagle.
He had me saved in his phone as "Dick Socket". Lets see if I ever fuck him in a bathroom again.
I was really excited when he said that condoms didn't fit him, then he added "they fall right off"...
ok. can u leave the new roommate a list of instructions for me? like what i need to be fed and when i need to be exercised?
Corn dogs constantly. And all.the time
She said we couldnt stop drinking until there were enough bottles to make a fort. so we could have sex in our "bottle castle"
its one thing to be single and another thing to be single and then have your profile picture be of you and the cat
your picture is with misty too!!
I AM SINGLE BY CHOICE
Kings cup with teenagers tonight
Done deal
So somehow today's lecture on the immune system turned into me having to stand up and explain female ejaculation to the class.
Last night she walked off and disappeared from everyone got home at 330 and said she went to the casino with her cab driver.
Burritos, beer, and hot tub sex. Merry Christmas to me.
fyi my negative pregnancy test is taped to the fridge...i'll take it over an A+ any day. be proud.
I added our drug dealer to the quickbooks software babe, he is listed under vendor's as an expense category... money management is such a bitch...
just used my $120 dollar stats book for the first time to kill an ant... good thing i stole it
Is there a sexuality term for 'only wants hatefucks'?
Randomize
