How did you manage that?
Told her it wasn't GENITAL herpes... just ORAL herpes... on my penis
lol... jersey girls rock
apparently the officer said last night, "son, why don't you do yourself a favor and spread your legs so you don't keep vomiting on them". why can't I remember those nights?!
Since when does wearing a condom and going down on me make someone a gentlemen?
my passenger side seat is covered in alcoholic jello with a nude mannequin in it
I wish straight boys touched me the way gay boys do.
I wish that one Sunday morning I could wake up feeling like I have my life together.
there is a strobe light in my taxi. in what way is this safe.
just had to make the 420 edibles gluten free and kosher for passover.
A kind stripper put a blanket over me last night
I would have screamed and cried and bled and shit and then died. Fuck that guy.
im eating mac and cheese with a makeup brush. there is wayyyyy too much wrong with this night.
Note to self: don't practice nerdy white girl dance choreography in the company bathrooms no matter how nice the huge mirrors and lighting are.
Does the room smell any better?
Yeah, i sprayed perfume. It smells like Victoria's Secret, if Victoria's secret was that she was homeless.
I told him I wish we were at my house cause then I could tell him to get out after we had sex.
Well we found Mark's missing underwear. They're pinned up on Mike's trophy wall.
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