i kept saying "bloody hell" in a ron weasley accent until i forcibly told myself to shut up
If penises could fly, my ass would totally be an airport.
did you violate me with a mr sketch marker when i passed out? i just peed and wiped purple and it smelled like grape. i need to get to the bottom of this...
You watched "From Justin to Kelly" and sang along to more than half of the songs. I didn't know whether to laugh or to be insanely frightened that you knew almost all the lyrics.
ill give you a picture of me naked for $5. im desperate.
we hooked up. but it was that weird mix of getting naked and watching Balto that made it so awesome.
come on down! you are the next contestant on the night is drunk!
He only had napkins in the bathroom... no toilet paper. If I fuck him, am I settling?
I learned a very valuable lesson tonight...don't touch a cops tazer
So I can officially say that someone has licked whipped cream off my nipples. Go senior year
WHY HAVE SO MANY THING GONE IN MY BUTT ON THIS TRIP
I'm both gender and math confused
Are you still in his room?
Nope, yogged home at 8 am with one shoe on.
Why is the floor coated in a 2 inch blanket of popcorn??
I turn 40 next week. I deserve to celebrate the end of my 30’s with a 21 year old dick
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