ready 4 sex 2nite?
wow. woo me matt, woo me.
I just figured it out. Meghan has the same smile as Sylvester Stallone.
Instead of a promise ring i got my clit peirced, its a promise that ill always give you ass! =]
I'm drunk in class and I'm pretty sure the bible freak behind me is saying a prayer for me
You compared your dick to a twizzler. In no way, shape, or form is that a turn on.
what kind of one night stand wants to walk you home in the morning? whole diff kind of walk of shame.
This breakup hit defcon 5. Walked to pathmark with a denim jacket over my nightgown to get ben and jerrys. On sale btw.
My roommate was being an ass so I put everyone's drinks/shots on his tab for the entire night. Then when we left he was telling me how he got out cheaper than last time.
That and I was watching this life alert commercial and I'm pretty sure my liver turned up the volume for more information
By the way, do you realize that you asked me how much you could get for your eggs last night. And once you learned the price said that you had plenty to share.
Of course I fucked her, her man stole my bike when we were kids
So about that you can bill me for the chair but it was David's idea to jump from the window sill into the washer with "clothing pillows of cloudiness" to land on to get ahold of him you have to phone his mother
I just talked to her she really hates you like a lot
Just set the kids up with doughnuts downstairs so I could go up and masturbate uninterrupted. I am such a good mom.
Listen. The next time my first idea in the morning is "hometown buffet and a water bottle full of captain morgan", please make me go back to sleep.
Ccatlin cimbing thru th sunroof plz come
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