I am at the point in my high where i now know/understand chinese.
The cab driver just finished telling me how leaving community college after one month was the best desicion he ever made.
I just ordered a 3 square foot pizza. This is how to beat an eating disorder.
you handed me your bra at the bar and said 'hold my purse'
I'm sitting in my bathroom sink, eating a tuna sandwich. He had better weed than I expected.
Uhh, there's a legit bruise on my boob.. Again how does he manage this
Please root for the ravens. I now have oral sex riding on this and it's been sooooo long
I still have beer shits from last weekend. Dying from dysentary is a real threat at this point.
I'm on day 4 of clean eating. I call it the "whore by June" program
He said it wasn't ladylike of me to drink more whiskey than him. I told him to stop being a little bitch.
All I remember is while we were making out M.A.A.D City came on so I pushed him off of me so I could rap along.
And he's in a frat. Everyone in a frat is gay. It's science.
I've now fucked in every motel room in this small town.
Saw your dad at the bar last night... And again this morning when he left. Told you not to mess with me bitch.
A drag queen just ate a dollar out of my ass. I don't know which one of us has hit rock bottom
Randomize
