I had another sleeping on concrete incident.
you were crying while pretty ricky was playing, what did you want me to do
We started snorting MDMA at 3 in the afternoon...it was never going to end well.
Pretty sure a homeless guy just told me to 'lick his balls clean' because I looked at him.
She passed out in the backyard, making "face down" snow angels ... so they could have a smile.
I just learned my tits were fire resistant. I should join the freakin circus
She was lying on the table chugging back something when the table broke
She kept going
She just rubbed her face up and down my six pack cooing. Equal measure of weird and hot.
you know that moment when all the alcohol kicks in and suddenly you realize the bar is very loud and you just want to bite someone sexy and ride their face i am kinda at that moment
so I was eating out this girl who was wearing my pirate hat In an alley behind the bar last night and some girl walks up and takes a picture. apparently we had a crowd of about 10 and it turned her on so she just didn't tell me
I accidentally called my professor daddy...and I think he liked it. Help, I'm scared.
IF THE GUY WHO I AM BORROWING OUR CAR FROM FINDS ONE CONDOM OR JIZZ STAIN IN THIS CAR HE IS GOING TO CASTRATE MY ASS. SERIOUSLY, DON'T FUCK IN THE CAR.
A legendary roster of degenerates has been assembled.
its times like this i wish i didnt have a penis
You know its an epic night when omar the garbage man gives you a ride home at 6 in the morning.
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