after last night i think it would be a good idea if i wrote a will... you know, just in case.
Even My mom was ashamed of me bringing her home, she pulled me aside, and told me i can do better than, "butter faces"
The only thing i was looking forward to on 4th of july was the google logo and they let me down. That and beer, lots and lots of beer
Also, I've sobered up around 5am, in Delaware. I remember making this decision, and highly regret it now.
Kegger tonight. 10pm. $5 coverfor unlimited booze. Proceeds benefit nuns from Uganda. Bring friends. No shit.
Doing blow at 6am to "wake myself up for clinicals" was a baaaaad idea
using blue streamers we found on the bathroom floor was probably not the best substitute for toilet paper.
Life lesson: When you compete in an impromptu "bloody mary chug-off," in the end, no one wins.
It's all good. Going back to my room to try and air out my balls.
He just got dropped off drinking a flask, sitting on the handlebars of a chinese delivery man's bike
Tonight's gonna be epic. Did he bring my noodles?
I've honestly never felt so much emotion towards a wall
yeah, I'm getting gagged by the cock of fate
I found them in the bathroom trying to wrap an American flag around Steve's dick. I didn't bother to ask questions.
You chugged Absolut from a beer bong. Why WOULDN'T you be a champion?
I'm pretty sure she tried to draw a self portrait out of her vomit. Then you tried to help, but passed out in the vomit.
Randomize
