On a scale from 0 to 24...wait, 3 to 24, where 6 is the lowest and 12 is the highest, how freaking high re you right now?
i overslept, had to take a cab to the train station, might puke, bought the wrong flavored vitamin water, and mj's dead. what a terrible world to wake up to.
Her sister's ass was worth my getting thrown out of the house.
so you know how i got laid the other night? well a condom just came out of me and i dont know whether to be grossed out or happy
i am grossed the fuck out
Great, now everyone thinks I've had giraffe semen in me
I got to stop making out with my boss at work. I think we should just get it overwith, be dissaponted and move on.
i woke up on my kitchen floor, halfway through a text, and my mascara running... this is why i stopped drinking tequila
my boyfriend just told me he used to have genital herpes. I was gonna have sex with him, but now it's SOOO over.
what kind of stupid fuck tells you that BEFORE sex? he is definitely not a keeper.
laughing at 16 and pregnant while fucking w/o a condom....
i always knew you were classy
The amount of pregnancy tests I've taken in my life is unhealthy
Weer fine. went to buiy cigxs, but hes theonly one waering shoes. He caem out wti chicke fingers instead. whatecer, there th 8 dollar kind.
Just remembered I said your cat looked delicious last night.
It's cool dude. The dank is in the form of premade smores with honey grahm crackers, marshmallow cream and 420 brand choc. bars. NV weed laws have nothing on me.
Last time I went to flagstaff I threw up in my beard. I would very much like to recreate that moment.
DO IT!
YOU'D BE LIKE A MERMAID! I'll bring you coffee filters to cover your tits.
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