i think 'regret' was last night's theme. i could taste it in my mouth and woke up next to it.
So just talked to them hahah i like that people sat there and watched as you two made out... They said they even had to refill their beers
If Curt Schilling could pitch a game with that blood-filled sock... if Tiger Woods won the 2008 US Open with a torn ligament, then I'd be an embarrassment to the human race if I couldn't manage to at least jerk him off even if I was still crying after he put it in my butt.
My birthing hips are way to big to be around all these juveniles.
I just watched a video of Justin Bieber kissing a girl..... the sad thing is that I actually got upset.
Be honest with Daniel. He was a good rebound to you for nine months and he made it so you could be with the one you really love and care for now. Just tell him thanks and best of luck.
One of two things would happen: He'd love it, or you'd get a restraining order.
I have to stop drunkenly making out with guys just because they're tall or have a beard.
Meeting his dad and brother for the first time at the jail while I'm bailing him out ISN'T exactly how I pictured this relationship going....
My new best friend is the drag queen who works at mcdonalds and doesnt judge me during my walk of shame coffee break
Virginity is like the pottery barn-you break it, you bought it.
Thanks....I've always wanted my vagina compared to an overpriced coffee table
What am I doing with my life
Sleeping with dudes who have peacocks apparently.
I'm going to fake an anxiety attack to get to the front of the line. Save me some brisket.
Nothing says "back to school" like walking in the first day with a hangover
Neighbor is sitting on his porch looking like he made some terrible life decisions and I just want to be like "I drank half of a handle of peach vodka in a shed last night. I understand" but I think they're swingers so his night probs sucked more.
Randomize