You were so drunk last night you thought you force pushed the automatic door open.
life lesson# 3: saying thank you on a subway really means "im not a native new yorker, so please feel free to touch my ass"
hmm. interesting. explain how you came across this knowledge.
i sneezed. he said bless you. i said thank you. he groped. i again said thank you.
I just got a 45 minute blow job...she literally sucked the single life outta me.
u sound so gay right now
How do you have time to get laid so much in law school?
I like to set goals for myself. for example, he was my first libertarian
I don't know how, but he made a bong out of a hamster wheel. To say I am impressed is an understatement.
I woke up next to her will a oven mit taped to my cock. Dear god, I might have tried to use it as a condom.
Also, I threw up on the playground again. I've honestly had more fun there this past summer than I did in my entire childhood.
For her birthday she wants to, " try something different with our butts a funnel and a bottle of whiskey"
YOU GOT KINKY WEIRD ICE CREAM HEAD ON FRIDAY DONT EVEN COMPLAIN.
You were sitting in the middle of the floor spewing vodka at people proclaiming "I a whale". That drunk.
Me and the cabbie are stopping on the way at a sit down restaurant to eat. My life is so sad.
After I was kicked out of the last frat I blacked out, woke up in the hospital with no clothes no phone and no idea what happened last night. But i got hospital socks, thats a win in my book.
WTF. I was 99% sure I went straight home last night. I just woke up hugging a chair, and my tux pocket has a flask filled with what I think is red bull and gatorade. This has to be your doing.
Why the fuck is there raw bacon in my bra. I don't even have a stove.
this vacation is helping with my sexual bucket list so much. threesome, deaf guy, and outdoor sex all accomplished.
Randomize
