This chick, for whatever reason, has serious "Leave your wife and kids and also break up her young marriage in order to frolick for a good 2 weeks before I realize that she's just like the rest of them and I made a huge mistake and ruined a lot of lives in the process" potential. It's SO INTRIGUING.
we need to get ahold of those "sexting" teens on tyra. HAWT!
wasnt one 13?
He told me they were just razor bumps!
btw, i had a dream i drank 260-proof vodka last night. thank god that doesn't exist in real life.
Welp. I just hopped out of his window to avoid meeting his parents... happy monday!
Dude you don't even know. I spilled the tequila and it took 4 people to stop me from drinking it off the table.
Why did you come into my room last night at 3am and pour monopoly money on me while you were crying?
Come find me, I'm the girl sitting alone in taco bell at 9 in the morning drinking concealed beer with a straw
She judged ME for picking my nose when SHE has the clap.
you fail at everything in life besides blacking out
Someone is giving away free yogurt on craigslist. Can I get a ride?
not ubering you a puppy
After the day I've had, I can't decide if donuts or fireball would be the appropriate priority.
I dunno. The drunker I get, the easier econ gets. I may be onto something here.
He has to be employed and covid free. That’s my standard. I can’t be picky. 2020 has killed my sex life.
Randomize