Marg and I just meaowed the nat anthem. I was tenor.
'm tripping baaaaaaaaaaaaaaas
just by requesting 'I think we're alone now', not only did you achieve emptying the bar, but you also rubbed it in the owners face.
I read the police report. You asked the cop if you could use his in-car computer to update your facebook. No way you get out of a DUI.
I don't think he's ever woke up with a paraplegic stripper sitting on his face before.
drunken yoga. on the beach. senior week. you have been chosen <3
That's two mile stones in one shot. A ginger and that's my third ashley.
dude she looked like Newman from Seinfeld I'm done with this wingman shit
To my wonderful winter break booty calls: thank you for making this holiday season enjoyable. I look forward to seeing you boys again this summer.
Please tell me joes at work safe and sound and doesn't smell like jail?
Like her Facebook page isn't even hers. It belongs to her tits. It's Titsbook
I AM A HOUSE CAT. I CANNOT DO THIS LION BUSINESS WE CALL THE SINGLE LIFE
Please make sure you have solid number of friends around you that wouldn't be afraid to break a bottle and stab someone. If you're planning on drinking all of that, you're going to need a safety net.
Dude, I traded weed for crunch berries. Happy Thursday.
The front camera on the 5S is SO much better. This is great development for my international sexting.
What can I say, like your penis. The fact that I like the person attached to it helps too
Randomize
