I dint menn to makr ut w brtendr
Wat???
U lft me at bar, no cassh for cab, may have slept with bartender
you just can't say no to drugs on a mirrored table.
do herpes really smell.
just saw a girl come out of the tanning bed room on crutches, now thats determination
My boyfriend texted me as I was texting some random hookup from last night. His text: "Morning baby" My response: "Your cum is in my hair"
you told all the 17 year old girls at the party that your mating call was "I glitter in the sun"
there are way too many $1s in my wallet for last night to have been 'tame'
Soooo, if his status went from married to single and he deleted all the pictures of his kids does that mean he's up for dibbs?
wait, how does the 20 year old one night stand pregnant girl have a superiority complex?
doing an easter egg hunt in a liquor store right now. i feel so adult
Yeah well you try taking nice pictures while you have pizza crust lodged in your throat
He told me he needed "space" but then goes and likes my insta of panacakes.. Done.
WE HAVE TO LEAVE. I HAVE HAD SEX WITH WAY TOO MANY PEOPLE IN THIS BUS STATION.
Also so weird my phone cracked after I repeatedly threw it at the ground as hard as possible
What does it mean when the government shuts down and your boyfriends wife wants a divorce ON YOUR BIRTHDAY?
Randomize
