i'm sick of taking my pants off and seeing a look of disappointment on the girls face. i want her to be frigthened
you yelled that ur labia majora was swollen at 3 am in the dorm hallway
Dude pussy is like music. For every person who pays for it, there are thousands more getting it for free.
September 16th, captains log. I awoke in a daze, not sure of my location
I thought i'd save money with No Heat November but the amount of whiskey i have to buy to stay warm is probably adding up to more than a heat bill.
i just went 2 months without giving head... thats like two months without coffee. or two months without sun.
There was a reason that "Throat Warrior 2011" was written on my martini glass. He said my title was undisputed.
Dude, you sent that text at 9:44 AM. Who thinks of drugs that early?
The sex was so good I went temporarily numb. Slightly embarrassing when she pointed out I was kissing my own arm.
My roommate took my designated hickey removing spoon out of the freezer.
The guy I brought home last night made a speedy escape while I was in the bathroom. The only trace I found of his flight was a lone sock on the stairs.... It was like a whorey low budget Cinderella
Those were some damn good pancakes you made last night.
Dude I've been in FL since Monday.
Adderal can only make me focus so much. Your ass is stronger than my medicine. Congratulations.
Just as an add on, don't expect me to wear matching bra and underwear. If I do, I'm probably drunk and it's your fucking birthday. Have a great night.
Gave a guy a blowjob in a convent. Place in hell is now secured...
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