You have problems? I'm 20 years old and i'm balding
the non-midget kid sent 8,000 texts in a month. the midget parents are pissed. THIS IS EPIC WHEN YOUR HIGH.
i found the one person in the world who takes longer to cum than i do... mutual dissatisfaction is probably not the best foundation for a relationship.
why did you let me tell everyone that you can get herpes from the ice luge and then let me do the ice luge?
Also, I am ligit concerned that I might compulsively start collecting vibrators like Pokemon.
he's gonorrhea incarnate
he knocked a glass of water onto my bed and then said that he should get to sleep on the dry side because he was "a guest"
I'm sorry that I didn't get belligerently drunk and did not put my penis on your neck again
He accidentally opened the car door during sex and all the lights came on. Needless to say, that kid passing by who was walking his dog got scarred for life.
But I did spend part of my morning scrubbing your cum off my grandmothers piano.
Jill you already won the game by finding a dude who will fuck you in flamingo knee socks. Theres no hope for the rest of us
Like your dick isn't Beyoncé, it doesn't get close ups
Must be why he thought choking was foreplay. Like WTF? No.
Left him blackout in the cab, gave 20$ to the cabbie and said drive until the meter said he wasn't getting a tip.
Bangkok has him now.
Someone sitting next to me at this football game is totally eating chicken nuggets out of his pocket and drinking four loko. I wanna be him.
Randomize
