Anyone ask you how much a bj cost yet? That shirt is so whorish
what happened last night?
u kept telling him to fuck u optimus prime style
that explains why his roommate kept saying autobots roll out this morning as i left
I dont think he stole the pillow. I mean if he wanted a souvenir, my thong was on the nightstand.
Her thighs are so strong. I thought my head was gonna get crushed when I was eating her out
Makin mac and cheese without you. Definitely seem to do this better inside you. Splashed boiling water on my cock
You better be coming back...your date is passed out in a shrub in my backyard and I'm pretty sure her shirt is on my kitchen floor
Also I climbed atop a mailbox with a toilet paper hat and a wolverine claw made of glowsticks, screaming at passers-by that they were going to die. Control me
I still havent gotten an apartment yet, so I crash random college parties...get so drunk and then sleep on their couch
Is YOLO really just a socially acceptable way to say you enjoy putting things up your nose?
This is just what we do. We meet guys, go back to their place, smoke all their weed & go home to compete in out own version of Cupcake Wars.
I don't know if it is the Everclear or chemistry, but i think my brain is coming out of my ears.
You have the perkiest tits in all of North America. You're fine.
You weren't singing into a microphone in front of an audience. You were screaming into your fist in the check-out aisle in Walmart.
Just landed in Atlanta. Still drunk. I can't feel my face
Played Gay Bar on the jukebox and pissed off the Republicans here. Best day before birthday ever.
Randomize
