The make-up sex just reminded me why we broke up in the first place.
We've been fucking since Friday.... This is the most committed non-committed relationship I've ever been in
A 12 year old Canadian kid said I was a pussy for only buying a 28-pack. I fit in better in this country.
my vagina has been out of service for wayy too long... this semester needs to start like right now
He threw up in the campfire, the alcohol in his puke caught on fire. Im marrying this man
She seriously pointed at the couch and asked me if she could "ride the talking giraffe". I'll never serve everclear again.
I JUST HAD PHONE SEX. WHILE TAKING A BATH. FOR AN HOUR. EATING A PLATE OF BURRITOS. TOP THAT SHIT.
I'm just going to text him the word sex repeatedly until he comes over.
Did it work?
Duh, it only took 27 texts and 15 minutes and he was at my front door.
The girl in the stall next to me is puking her brains out, I'd say she had just a good a weekend as us
I gave her some alkaseltzer ad she looked at me lke I was god
On my way home from the dentist. Was going to call and see if you would like to wake and bake, then remembered my sister is an adult
Well, if it makes you feel any better I'll be drinking tequila and doing lines on Halloween. Just like old days.
If it exists, I've probably pregamed it.
I'm at 45 minutes post orgasm, and I still feel my insides spasming. Pretty sure I just fucked Superman.
You're emotionally mature, right? I said you were.
I have at least four things in my line of sight that have Kermit the Frog on them in my dorm. Does that answer your question?
she referred to her cum as “pussy butter” so needless to say we had a good night
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