after drinking 6 jumbo margaritas he then proceeded to tell the entire restaurant that he was going to "bust a load in me" when we got home....how do you think the rest of my night went?
I'll show rhose boucners: You don't let me in, I poop on your pool.
He fucked my earring out of my ear. Of course he's coming over again.
I'll just put on a bunch of mascara and cry right before I get there. Then everyone will recognize me.
It's like, "you literally have no idea who i am but i definitely slept with your brother in your bed."
I really don't know where my pants are, but that's not the problem. When are you going to unlock the door?
I drank too much tequila. I'm hyperventilating. Send help. I think I slipped through satan's asshole.
He had a vasectomy. I think I'm in love.
Well I mean I HAD done a pretty good job of not pooping myself through the years
Please clarify that he is speaking of beer pong and not rough sex
I suggest both. Please have sex with them and prepare notes for a final comparison.
Left Las Vegas at 2:30 am, woke up at 11 AM at a Barstow gas station with the Valet from Ceaser' palace snoring in the backseat and no memory of how we got there. I felt like Raoul Fucjing Duke right then and there.
I was just at Kroger and saw some guy with a steelers balloon... ran up to him and popped it. NO RAGRETS.
I have a video on my phone of someone streaking in my house last night, do you have any idea who it is?
Is it sad that I just pissed sitting down so I didn't have to stop eating doritos?
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