Also my back is semi rug burned and I'm holding you fully responsible.
I would love to give you more rug burn
this is a family affair. You're an embarrassment.
whatever it's not my family
I think you should know he took my pants (buttons and zippers included) and my thong off with his mouth alone. I found my husband
She's "scared" of blowjobs, so she just played with it for a while.
last day of my family cruise we all got trashed and had an award ceremony. I got the award for hooking up with a cougar. my grandma hugged me and said im living up to the legacy. this is why my familys better than yours
We shall study the pictures later and see if his penis is worth my time.
It's like a toaster oven for my penis
Smoked a blunt with a girl i met at the bus stop today. What you did today is irrelevant
Nope. Flying out tonight. Staying with my great aunt who is an ex nun turned hostel owner. Best and likely most dangerous St. Patty's Day to commence in 10 hours. IRELAND!
Be safe. And I hate you.
MAN I GOT NO SLEEP AND HAD A BREAKFAST OF SKITTLES AND ASPIRIN. I'M LIVING THE LIFE.
Like how hard is it to come up to me with chocolate and wine and say "hey, you're beautiful. Wanna marathon Doctor Who in sweatpants?" Hell yes!
I just crop dusted the hot FedEx guy delivering my business cards...then asked him "Was that you?" How the fuck am I allowed to be an adult?
He and I tag each other in memes all day. You could say it's getting pretty serious.
Did you throw up out the back door and cover it with paper towels?
you need to drop off my dinner before you go see him because i'm not gonna wait until you're finished fucking him to get my damn chinese food
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