hey can you give me head? jesse told me that you're really good
who is this?
jesse's little brother
at least after i hook up with someone i have the decency to ignore them
I just got a bj @ my old preschool...my childhood memories r all ruined
Can you do me a favor and fuck someone with a car so I can get a ride home?
I have a question: does pizza dipped in chili sound good or am I just really high?
I found ecstasy taped in my armpit... thank you drunk Marissa.
Just for the record its a bit awkward when you introduced me to your friends at your house as your brother and then insisted in front of them that I sleep in your bed with you
So then I proceeded to the kitchen to make my "specialty," which consisted of a frozen veggie burger topped with peanut butter. I guess he ate it too.
Breaking a step ladder over someone's back turned into a really fun game, way too quickly.
No I just rolled on the floor giggling. I think that's the equivalent to a post sex victory dance.
It wasn't a basement apartment, it's his parents basement. And he wanted to show me his pet tarantula collection. I NOPED THE FUCK OUT!
My girl came home. i was jacking off on the couch and she just starts telling me about her day, as if im not half naked with my hand on my cock.
Wait I can't come yet Mr. Brightside is playing
ok i defs just took my shirt off in the middle of a frat party though so keep me updated
I hummed the theme from jaws while she was taking the pregnancy test....needless to say she was not pleased
So he has moved up to a stage 5 clinger...Surprised he didn't try to lure you into bed with tacos, like he did last time
Yeah... akward. I don't want a round 2
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