seriously this is one of those moments where im glad i dont really talk to or know the people i sleep with
Well said.
he has 3 profile pictures up and all of them are him riding jet skis
The only thing I can remember you saying is "I won't cut pizza like this when I'm older."
Got drunk. Then they sung "we didnt start the fire" to my other cousin who accidentally burnt down the house when she was younger.
I lost count of how many people I peed on last night.
I was on hold waiting for customer service at verizon so we obviously we had enough time to have sex, i just put the phone on speaker
Just got a hand job during Charlie St.cloud I honestly never thought Id thank Zac Efron fir one of his movies but thank you
I figured that I'd start organizing the places ive given head. I'll add treehouse right after bandroom
You're going to have to tell him your name isn't Ivor McTruckson eventually.
We could make it cute. Like "oh those two cute lesbians who are about five foot two who sell the cocaine down the street. You know the ones? With the Yorkies?"
came home to a trail of roses from the door halfway up the stairs. but my nonsingle roommate lives downstairs. idk if they celebrated on the stairs or if some girl tried to woo me last night and i don't remember
I woke up in a tutu and topless. How was your night?
You are the tramp this city needs, but not the one it deserves.
wearing the bible to the ABC party, thought you'd appreciate that.
I want him for more than banging and buying me potato salad. Is this what love feels like?
Randomize
