I just showed my boobs to our astate representative hahahahahahha
i wasn't gonna shower then i remembered i slept in my own piss
I swear to god if he wasnt on the fourth floor balcony and I wasn't to drunk to climb I would kill him
let's just skip the pleasantries and go back to my place for pizza and casual sex
You get drunk and try to bury your girlfriend in the sand JUST ONCE and all hell breaks loose
So ahh..."Multicultural Night" turned into "Fuck the Neighbor Night"
We can just chill or day drink or smoke or watch law and order marathon or play just dance 4 or watch a movie or go to the movies or play hide and seek or hug, so many options
She's the perfect storm of great hair, big boobs, intellectualism, and mild moral ambiguity.
like i got into his car and the beatles were playing. this kid is def getting his dick sucked
Believe me honey Imma fuck the discount out of at least one plastic surgeon in my life
Tried to shave my legs but the rug burn on my knees from last night got in the way.
Not as great as when your drunk mom grabbed my junk, but better than when your sober grandma sacktapped me and grabbed my butt.
You sluts I'm so proud of you. You're both wearing underwear.
i woke up on someones kitchen floor, and i used the gps in my phone to find my way home. im really glad you forgot about me.
because nothing says “let’s fucking rage” like getting a compensation letter and some company stock
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