hooking up with my manager sounds like an even better idea while i'm sober.
well at that point we were just fucking to keep warm.
There comes a time where you just have to sit back and watch the drunken idiots pee on each other
I told him I had AIDS after he bit me. His dad cried. I think I just ruined the little guy's 3rd birthday, but he had in coming.
so i guess now we know you can get away with peeing mere feet from the Capitol if you shout IM PREGNANT at the guards
My mascara kind of smells like tequila to me...Is this my body crying for help or asking for a shot?
Cause its not a drunken adventure unless someone ends up in a pool
Good. Need a drinking partner later. FOR AMERICA!!!
I almost died today via plastic wrap. I AM THE REASON THEY PUT WARNING LABELS ON THINGS.
Do you always skip to "Baby Got Back" when fat girls show up at the bar?
i want to platonically make out with them, platonically. in the back of this minivan
I blame everything on you. My broken heart, my fucked up liver and my twisted mind.
he kissed both of us goodnight when we dropped him off...I didn't know if I was more offended or impressed
there must be tiny pirates in the freezer stealing our rum.
i only got to wear my halloween costume for an half hour before it got taken off.
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