Goodnight my chunky, little, marshmallow muncher
i hit her car. ill just send her a farmville gift in the morning. then it'll be alright.
He literally sends me dick pictures, EVERY DAY. SEVERAL DIFFERENT ANGLES ..it's like I GET THE POINT.
I make your heart skip a beat like that pivotal moment when you open a public toilet lid
Drinking franzia alone at noon watching a cheese themed episode of "The Chew" I'm ready to admit I need a job.
...i'd have to set their sheets on fire.
Don't make it weird, I don't think about you when I'm climaxing, it's just that I see you rooting me on.
The stripper just invited me to take shots with him out at his car after he gets off stage.. I mean why not? I've already seen everything he's got and it'll be easy to get him naked.
Stoned, drunk, and walking into the library. Look at me multitasking!
Just smoked a joint with the hottest patient. God I love night shifts.
then you dropped a clam in a draught beer like it was a drop shot and and started chugging as beer spewed all over your body.
Good news y'all just straight up snorted 2 adderall and I'm not a real being on this plane of existence anymore and I'm ready for finals
Thank you, my gorgeous heroine, for being such a total life-saver by giving me rides, forcing me to eat, providing porous absorbant surfaces to bleed on, and everything else you do <3
Well now I’m in the bathroom puking up absinthe so guess I beat myself up over it one way or the other
Still had our rainbow strip poker new years tradition. End of night we were only wearing mask.
Did you get the usual surprise pics from the strange straight you like to sprinkle in.
Randomize
