I need to shower the guilt off of my thighs.
Amandyke just told me shes gonna make my tongue her cum rag. i'm borderline terrified
do you believe in love at first sight?
awwwwww =)
yea.. so can i have your sisters number? thanks!
Why dose there have to be another girl there for you to do this?
its hotter. Way hotter.
If the blowjob was before the wedding, we're not technically related, right?
Oh btw I took the eighth out of the plastic wrap so I could use it to wrap my red pepper. This can be seen as either pathetic or resourceful.
You were so drunk you decided to go out of the car window instead of using the door, once you realized what you had just done you said fuck it and went back in through the window
I have bad memories with every alcohol but we manage to work through the problems for the good of the relationship
I woke up at like 4 am with an old Korean woman cuddling me. I assure you she was not there when I went to sleep.
the bartender goes "wow its so good to see you sober" and gives me a hug
My mom just came upstairs handed me an Adderall and asked if I could help her wash the ceilings
I woke up and found my apartment really clean, appearantly drunk me couldn't tolerate living there anymore and left sober me a lot of insulting post-its...
Hey I’m obsessed with Charlie Heaton from stranger things...not because he got caught at the border with coke...okay that’s a lot of it
i was so blazed last night that i kept imagining a talking eagle sitting next to me encouraging me to smoke more... i listened to it.
i’n just gonna forge ahead, gag reflex be DAMNED.
Randomize
