Worst part was I had to fart super bad and didn't want to ruin the room so I farted in a pillow and threw it under the bed.
In hindsight maybe we should have moved his homework instead of playing quarters on top of it.
I don't know if you realize how depressing it is to get your card denied....when you're only spending $4.
i was taking the test and had to adjust my boner and my teacher thought i was cheating or something
I did my dad and i had to keep going back there to pick up coffee
please read the first 4 words of that text and consider punctuation
i figure i've seen his cum stains on the floor, i'm allowed to say these things.
I need someone to get my backpack from the bar before class tomorrow. I have to give my students their papers back.
I'm pretty sure getting a blow job behind a bar in Rome while her little sister is throwing up in a dumpster not 5 feet away, gives entirely new meaning to the phrase "When in Rome"
I tried to lock you in the bathroom stall because you were too drunk. But you escaped from underneath, I gave up
Oh my god did you actually lose a tooth
Cocaine is ok on a cleanse, right?
COME AND FUCKING GET ME I AM IN SOME SORT OF JUNKYARD!!!
Oh. Why can't it be something easy, like a punch card for blowjobs?
I went to finger her and found a penny. I think ill keep it.
I think my life is a one-way ticket to blackout city.
Randomize
