i have now learned nap means the same thing as sex in college
I just realized that the music from spongebob is also used in real sex HBO.
just opened a can of spagetti o's with a butter knife. the things u will do for food when ur stoned.
I swear it started with good intentions but then my slutty side took over and we started playing strip checkers
Just realized how many men I've had sex with for the first time in St. Patty's Day past. Currently sending "HAPPY SEXIVERSARY" texts...
Then I realized I was alone sitting on the bathroom floor brushing my teeth at 2am laughing to myself.
Idk he's just laying there passed out with a French fry up his nose and without any pants on. Boner and everything.
She's dressed as a slutty goth schoolgirl. Those are my three favorite things. God himself could not give me whiskey dick.
I'm not entirely sure that the guy that just texted me is not on drugs right now. I'm also not entirely sure that he isn't about to be incarcerated.
Build a thousand brigdes, lick one butthole. What am I remembered for? Buttholelicking.
I think the worst part about being a real adult is 1)having a high stress job that makes me want to get stoned 2)paying for reefer using my own money 3)realizing my boyfriends children probably have more weed connections than I do anymore
Signs you do Molly too much. Glow sticks fallout of random articles of clothing on academic row
Well at least I will forever be known as the girl he ate out on the lifeguard stand while people walked by. On the first date.
it's 1:30pm and i'm eating cheese while i sext. i need hobbies
I'd send you a picture as proof but I want to marry him some day and that would be a deal breaker.
Randomize
