How long until YT realizes that it's a man?
we made margaritas with slurpies from 7-11 and beer.
this blows. i told the guy at the bar that i was the DD and it was like i just announced over megaphone that i had genital herpes. no one will talk to me now.
Only your wife would write 'for deposit only' on the back of that $1500 check knowing full and well our capabilities of spending it on strippers and booze
He licked the chalk off his shirt, then spat the Mountain Dew from his mouth onto the shirt and sucked on it. And thats him sober.
As I sit on the toilet at 4 am I realize tonight could have gone a lot better
Her hair goes down to her lower back and nobody was there to held it back for her. She looked like chewbacca dipped in vomit.
Date idea: we should go to the store and buy all the different kinds of Lay's and eat them all
No. Every time we go there, you end up getting high, then lost, then going home with strangers.
I told my therapist about the other night and he actually whistled and said "wow that is not good."
Do me a favor and scream dirty things at him in a polite sexy, come hither way
I can't come. It's so cold my uterine walls have frozen together like a cherry popsicle.
You don't have to buy me dinner, watch tv or even hang out if you don't want. Just fuck.
let your parents know i'm sorry i ran around the house pretending their metal detector was a "booze detector"
While finding our clothes afterwards he says..."So do we like have to talk after this?"
Randomize
