remind me tomorrow that nothing happen between me and the guy who's shirt i'm wearing
GO HOME AND LIKE EVERYTHING ON COLT'S FACEBOOK UNTIL 2007.
Wtf it's a Friday night?
PRIORITIZE.
She saved the condom from the first time we did it.
So, Southern Comfort will donate 25 cents for every bottle sold towards Gulf Coast Relief... Can we save the wetlands through my alcoholism?
just saw a guy driving a atv down the highway in a tux.... only in Iowa...
GOING OUT OF BUSINESS: we're having a foreclosure party tonight...We'll also be raffling off a washer/dryer, microwave and a white tiger head.
Drunk on Tuesday. Double fisting. Mmmbop is playing. Only girl in the group. Life is complete.
I'm home now if you wanna come over.
Sloane just tried to lick my eyeball. I'm going to regain my composure then I'll be there.
sorry for pouring tequila vodka and whiskey down your throat and left you to sleep on a table
I'm too depressed to masturbate. This election is the worst.
And somehow i feel like your expectations will turn out to be illegal in some way.
He kept screaming "I am the thunder!" when he was riding me.
I said, hypothetically speaking, if I was going to be having some rough sex Friday night, when WOULD be the best time for a massage, mother dear?
My new favorite word is dickbag. I think its relevant here. And I say that with all the love in the world.
Ummm so he didn't think I was serious about breaking up... Most awkward conversation ever
Randomize