I love how girls just decide that guys who don't like them must be gay
I do the same thing. If a girl doesn't like me...I am like, "i must be gay"
he told me not be awkward when his girlfriend comes tomorrow. and then he made out with me
I don't think I can fit "I'm sorry for ruining Christmas" on one cake. Better make two.
and i had to drink on "never have i ever unsuccessfully tried to seduce a virgin ginger"
We banged through her entire lady gaga playlist. I can die happy now
Dude, she puked up her Plan B, then reached in the toilet and re-swallowed it. That chick does NOT want a baby
you act like breakfast cereal isnt an entirely appropriate chaser
Drunk me needs to be reminded of my sexual preferences.
at least it wasnt animals
You put your finger on my lips and told me 'the butt is nature's pocket'.
I don't remember that at all, but I stand by what I said
MY TWIN SISTER IS ENGAGED. I REPEAT, MY SCREW UP OF A SISTER IS ENGAGED. THIS IS NOT A DRILL.
I'll be there in 20 with vodka.
Doing the walk of shame at 1 AM. Stumbled across a rave. This night is epic.
In other news: I massively over-caffeinated this morning. Everything is vibrating and I can SEE THROUGH TIME
I just used an Amazon gift card from a student to order a new vibrator....teacher of the year
I'm always down for nudity.
You spent twenty minutes waxing poetic about her ass and her thighs
Randomize
