no. i seriously look so gross with this sunburn. i wouldnt even wanna bang myself. and im really into myself.
There need to be more gay people on my afternoon soaps.
Currently looking for a new liver on ebay. Struggle.
I have discovered something important. The trick to making food taste better is not always 'more hot sauce'.
She's grinding on a deaf black man and I'm the interpreter.
Our Icelandic basketball player brought cocaine and rachael is screaming that he should do lines off her stomach. It's that kind of party
Indoor beer darts at Rafs just turned into a trust exercise of putting your hand on the wall and closing your eyes while the other throws.. Almost gave Cale a Tracheotomy
if you do the accent, i'll wear the eyepatch
i ate a whole tub of butter with my hands last night. don't tell me about rock bottom
Oh god iv'e slept with this police officer before oh god oh god
You asked for 4 things: your phone, your wallet, your keys and your denture. I stopped asking questions.
But I got head on a boat yesterday which was sweet until a bald eagle flew over. Then it became life affirming.
My mute roommate is using sign language to ask a guy to fuck her.
You're not gonna like every guy whose dick I put in my mouth
This girls ass literally just fell out of her jeans in front on me on the escalator. Going commando on a Monday morning is a bold move.
Randomize
