Is it wrong to scream your own name when about to bust?
i just walked passed a table of guys by myself.. they looked @ me talked and then yelled 7
id pin you as more of an 8
My therapist says she wants to work on my 'trust issues'. I think she's found the cash cow within.
I'm in the Wal Mart stall where we found out you weren't pregnant. This is where I'm going to propose to you. I feel like that would be the most romantic
I would have gladly let him decapitate me with the way he was biting on my neck.
Not my man #1 and if he likes it then he should put a title on it. Till then the gates of hell. Aka my vagina are open for entrance.
Cat. Why do you sit on things I need to use.
Because it is cat.
I'm gonna have to get you a special blowjob bib -- like a lobster bib -- but instead of a picture of a little red lobster, it will have a picture of a penis, with 3 big squirts coming out.
How did you get him out of the shower last time?
Order Taco Bell and leave a trail of burritos leading to his bed.
All I know is I drank too much, danced too little.. yet somehow woke up on the floor in the arms of some cowboy.
I love everything about him! His penis, his hair, his tattoos, his penis, his cat, his penis.
When is the right time to ask your new roommate for her school schedule so she doesn't walk in on you fucking some rando in the kitchen in the middle of the afternoon?
Micheal let me call him captain america while we fucked. It was awesome
I am listening to my ipod while i puke, this is most entertaining hangover i have ever had.
whose shirt was i wearing?
his little sister's
what was she wearing
a feather boa and 6 inch heels
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