just saw a guy throwing up in the urinal at Dennys. Either he had one hell of last night or we are going to eat somewhere else
When were having sex he was mumbling some guys name. If he wasn't as hot as he is I'd be concerned.
So where are we on this whole, you write my paper...i do sexual favors situation?
I'm still not a hundred percent.. I haven't shit anything solid in two days.. I have pulled my puker muscles and I can't take deep breaths cuz of other unidentified muscles/maybe heart attack
The girls danced. I drank. Then I danced cause I was drunk. Then I ripped tim's shirt off cause I'm awesome.
Don't come. It's not even a party it's a total sausage fest. Like 20 drunk dudes in a bedroom. We can still drink by ourselves though it'll be ok
We were in his kitchen and she turned to me with a straight face and an avocado in her hand and said "Can we steal this?"
Ok because I want to set a new world record for how fast I can drink away my Christmas money
I'm crying and shaving my Bronco playoff beard
I shaved my balls for you. Do you have any idea how hard that is?
On another note, I almost lost one side of my fake butt. Dancing the wobble with the fake butt isn't recommend.
So woke up naked and found my clothes from last night in my kitchen with a half eaten quesadilla
I am officially in a love triangle with my celebrity crush
I just made myself orgasm twice and Laura lee hit 4 million subscribers. It’s a good day everywhere
i ran into the Jo the housecleaner earlier this morning. i mentioned i had a little hangover and she asked what the occasion was.. i replied "Tuesday" without thinking. she judged the shit out of me.
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