totally got the gold medal for the best fence jump when the cops came.
I just saw a kid walk into class with his dad. Fuck his life.
You are an asshole
haha sleeping beauty awakes.
Where did you find this costume?
i wish i could, but i promised myself i wouldn't sleep with anyone who couldn't grow a beard for a while. it's not you, it's crosby.
So high. I just took a picture of my chewed gum so I can remember to paint a picture of it as a cloud later.
Apparently, there is a horrible ghonorrea out break at our school. Woo! What a way for Loyola to welcome us back.
Apparently my gaydar only works on americans. Frenchie capris has two topless chicks in our kitchen making him breakfast.
He smells so good today
Seriously, back away from the sexual harrasment suit.
it's like I can see my whorish nature reflected back at me in his wedding ring.
A stripper just invited me to her daughter's birthday. Where did my life go wrong?
I almost died in that meeting. Nearly dried up and blew away in the pure powder form of boredom
I know that feel bro
I declared today 'Have a Bloody Mary Naked Day'. Why? Because I'm hungover, thirsty & don't want to bother putting on clothes.
Why put me through the conflicting battle of being happy for your vagina but sad for my vagina for no reason ahole
Why does your place smell like gin and misery?
I prefer to think of it as 'ode to single life'
A girl I had a drunken hook up with is on interventon right now
Randomize
