I thought at least he would want to exchange numbers after he tried to put it in my bum
Omg just want to confirm: got drunk, naked in street, fucked in bathroom and puked on bart.
Is it appropriate to get drunk, stand up at the wedding and make a toast to "the time the lovely bride asked me to come on her chest"?
our generation is not ready to get married
I may have been hammered and in a wheelchair but I definitely remember asking the hospital reseptionist to marry me
So my ex just cheated on her current bf w/me and now there's a car coming to take me to Vegas... Is this really my Thursday night?
I hate you.
I went out in a blaze of glory. I failed the field sobriety test by saying ABCD FUCK YOU.
He is making me drink his THC water out of a milk jug.
I think i morst likely have 95 %patulas for hands and probably i also went to eGypt with so manyfriends. We laids in the sarcaphoguses.
You sound pretty unsure about all of this.
Last time i was there we saw the window of the pizza place we were at get busted, we were pulled out of a taxi to be questioned by the cops, and we peed outside a waffle house. I'm in.
I'm not a horrible person, I just see what everyone chooses to politely ignore.. And occasionally say it aloud whilst deeply intoxicated.
Will give head in exchange for a Netflix password. Serious inquiries only please.
Speaking of boners I learned how to say " jizz everywhere" in sign language
They made up a new version of "Smash or Pass" called "I would(n't) let you sit on my face" to yell at the freshman
He's driving 2 hours to visit me and he's bringing weed. I love him so much.
Leaving Denver airport I just saw a group of young Republicans in matching green T-shirts that said "4/20 Baby!"
Randomize
