everyone contributed. i held her hair back, he rubbed my vag... it was a team effort.
he told me not to treat him like a child and then started peeing off the trampoline
I have yet found the courage to put pants on. No judgement thursday led to no shower friday and now no pants saturday. God i miss college.
How was your weekend?
The sex was so good. It hurts to exist.
I was desperately holding on to my sandwich while we had sex.
Old woman told me I looked like her son and then she started explaining to me how she wanted me to fuck her
So I vote that we skip the bowling and just go straight to destroying our livers.
Volunteering at a homeless shelter a bum asked if he could lick me cause I still reeked of whiskey. Being a bumsickle=epic hangover
She said, after pronouncing how sober she was, and I quote 'Take this bag, it's so heavy it's like 500 degrees! Wait, is it time to go? Can I run? I think I can run!' Then she ran away.
if you guys find pieces of my teeth don't throw them out please
I do remember that in my dream I wasn't impressed with his dick.
I hate how she's getting mean with age
Meh, you can't hate. That's our basic life goal and you know it.
That was the night I realized I need to grow up and stop eating mushrooms with strange 40 year old men in convertibles.
I learned so much in Pittsburgh
i dunno but you just looked at him said "youre making me really wet" and straight pissed your pants
They were shocked that I could handle my liquor so well. I'm half Irish and half Russian. This is what I'm made for
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