The maid of honor just puked.
Its a bunch of hippies dancing in front of a stobe light. For ten dollars I could have gone to the strip club and at least had a lap dance
Call me pathetic, but saying "tits for ireland" is working out really well on chatroulette today.
Leaving the dealer's house. He just gave me a sincere hug and said good luck. This cant end well.
you humped every kiosk in the store. then you asked for an application.
the general consensus of people in the room is that i should have another bottle of wine.
"people in the room" being me.
Does your throat ever get sore from being choked too hard or do u think I'm just getting sick??
Using a joint as a bookmark. What is my life?
At orientation, some girl is asking, loudly, where she can get weed. Everyone looks discussed but are paying very close attention to people's answers.
I keep jumping up and down in front of the mirror naked. The only motivation I would be to stop and put clothes on is if you come over. Hurry.
I'm watching porn in spanish. Thats studying right?
Are you vicariously golddigging through me?!
You told me that you would let her eat cake off of your ass, then fell asleep on the floor
So here I am, sexting at work.
If I told the doordash driver it's national nudity day, think he'd still report me for being topless at the door?
Randomize
