ahhh, you guys look like a cute little family in the cop car!
I judge my drunkenness on my brickbreaker playing skills. I'm winning. Suck it.
imagine playing with puppies while we're drunk.
Like... we could film it and put like, "do you believe in magic" as the backround song and it would be complete joy.
dude I heard her through my door. She sounded like you were holding her head under water and they letting her up for air. I recorded that shit
An accidental pregnancy to a guy with a trustfund is no mistake. It is a gift from god.
So, do you think I should wash the ashes off of my forehead before going to the strip club?
At least I cut out the pieces of your hair where I braided gum into it last night. Thank me later.
yeah, i'm not. but i'm ready for free bjs. it's just hard to find women who will give me a beej while i'm sobbing uncontrollably
We used the solo cup bag for her hair tie. Desperate times call for desperate measures.
I WANT MY VAGINA TO POUND AT NICE THINGS.
This may have to wait till tomorrow. I smoked so my back wouldn't hurt and I overshot relaxed by like 4 hits casually
I'll be the Broncos and you be the Seahawks and you can pound the shit out of me.
I tried to flirt with him by saying "catholics are cool" and he handed me a cup of water so i called him jesus and thanked him for the wine
Don't judge me 👊🏼 his dick just whispers my name
Whatever, ill dance on the bar at applebees, don't try and act like you're above it.
Randomize
