D3 body, D1 cock
i wonder what thom yorke's orgasms sound like
John Mayer's mother should have swallowed him when she had the chance.
As in blowjob or cannibalism?
I was thinking blowjob, but either would've been a better idea than giving him a record deal.
It was so delicious I was introducing it to people. Guy from my psych class was like "This is my girlfriend, Erica," and I was like, "This is my milkshake, Oreo."
scarred for life. way too high and witnessed some chick give a dude head on the dance floor
the only good thing about breaking up with him while naked was that i got to make a forgetting sarah marshall reference
Last night we looked at each other with an expression of "fuck I am so done being normal", took off our shirts, and danced around in our bras
we are out of drugs. and patience. please bring former.
Can I please come dance in my bra to destiny's child with you? I'll bring the wine and the glitter
One does not fall in love, one falls flat on the their face after leaving a bar
You drunkenly said something along the lines of "move forever" to the lady standing in your way. Needless to say you had too many mimosas at breakfast.
I'm just drunk enough to be eating egg rolls on the toilet
Let it be known that on this day, the 26th of October, in the year 2016, I successfully put both of his balls in my mouth at once.
He stuck a cigarette in my butt last night. There is no coming back from that.
Facebook just reminded me of the time I found two IHop cheese sticks in my hand bag. Those were the days.
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