Dude, my boy c***** and I hooked up with Asian sisters last night in the same room
Then I put on blue by Eiffel 65 and security showed up and yelled at us for being too loud. Also, they stopped fucking because no one can fuck to eiffel 65
Question. A woman tells her guy she's on birth control. Stops taking it to have a kid to force the guy to be responsible and with her. What rights does that guy have
None he's f-d
yup. cregs moms pubic hair is still glued to the celing
We aren't going to mix hockey and sex texts tonight.
I totally agree. all sexting is on hold till after the games over.
Playoffs. This shit is serious.
He started making shapes and faces with his cock and balls.... apparently if you wrap the shaft with your balls and turn it 90 degrees to the left it looks like a hamburger
just tell her a well fed dog doesnt stray far from the porch, and if that doesnt work just keep fucking her sisters
One fish gets drugged and suddenly I'm labeled a bad pet owner. This is so unfair.
I wore a leash I'll tell you about it later I had a fantastic time
My pubic hair is shaved into the shape of mistletoe.
I hope that's a joke and if not I need a snap of it
My goal in life is to ruin sex for someone. To be so mindblowingly unreal that they can never find anyone like me ever again. So far it's going well.
I won't let penises inside me if you won't let tequila inside you, deal?
With a butt like mine I'll never have to pay for Netflix again.
But I am still fully ok with my life choices as long as the consequences aren't onesies and pacifiers
Why do pants feel so unnatural once you enter your own house
Can you please bring the nipple sombrero up?
Randomize
