i guess it's bad bediquette to quote the kool aid man
?
he said oh yeah and i responded with OHH YEAHHHHH!
we got back to my place and he started talking about feelings. i politely told him to leave and that he managed to cock block himself.
And now that i don't feel so bad because you're not pregnant the $15 for the pregnancy test I bought would be appreciated
judging from the lines on my body they wheeled me back in a shopping cart
So help me Jesus we're never drinking together again. But weekends don't count. Amen.
Last night we got home from the bar and saw a fox outside and we lured it in the house with a piece of cheese. Just wanted to party with some potentially dangerous wildlife I guess.
Oh if we have sex in public no one will frown upon it. They will stand and cheer for it
His dick looks just like him, taller than average, thick, and somehow always angry.
Took "drink until he's cute" to a whole new level last night...
At 2pm we are having a MANDITORY house meeting about last night. ALL must be in attendance!
I'd like to review the planning and execution of the party to determine how we hosted a naked party, to determine how we can have more.
My life is a clusterfuck of men and disorderly priorities right meow.
doctors was a success... no liver damage and I lost five pounds.. we're celebrating tonight you get the whiskey I'll get the burritos.
On the way home she told me she was in kindergarten when 9/11 happened
If Dr Phil has taught me anything about myself, it’s that I can seriously relate to those women who fake their pregnancies.
Real life skills section of my resume: blow jobs, food knowledge trivia, sarcasm, mascaera application, sexting, tolerance of rail liquors
Randomize
