should my penis look like a turkey
nothing like walking down the street with a garbage bag of puke trying to find a dumpster
Just asked the bartender if I could use the register to see my grades.
you asked the janitor if you could ride his floor cleaner.
I wasn't so much your wingman at that point as I was the interpreter of you point at shit and mumbling to the cab driver.
How is it I was the last to know everyone calls me tig ole bitties? Did y'all have a meeting about this that I wasn't invited to?
how many dildos make it a "collection?"
We had 15 min before last call. Exact quote "let's see how drunk we can get."
I am making it a rule that only people I am comfortable around enough to not have to put a bra on are allowed for Sunday funday. I think that's a good rule for someone who started drinking alone at noon while everyone else here sipped their coffee.
Being drunk with magicians is fucking mind blowing. This Asian guy just made a platypus appear and disappear. This is not a drill.
I agree and I would be an awesome dog
I banged a guy named Robbie last night and in the middle of sex he begged me to scream santos. I'm pretty sure I just screwed a dude with multiple personalities.
I like to be the stable force in your otherwise chaotic existence.
I just wanna fuck your brother. Sorry if thats a crime.
He fucked the hangover right out of me. That good.
Randomize
