She kept calling me her DD, which I assumed meant designated driver, so I was confused because I don't even have a car. Found out later it means designated dick. It's what her and her friends use as code for the guy they want to hook up with at the end of the night. I feel so used.
We learned a valuable lesson from last night. You can, in fact, order bacon on a Big Mac.
We videoed ourselves having sex... I now know why I close my eyes during sex
Ps. The strap-on in the pic i sent you last night was not mine. Just wanted to clear that up.
Explain to me how "cheap asian titties" is a complement?
Shes been standing with her arms crossed in front of the mirror for 45 minutes...she told me she's "getting sober"
4 to the list in one week. Slutsville isn't as fun as the brochure promised.
5 am booty call.. And I went I need to gain better control of my vagina
Is it too forward to say "stop being a good friend and start being a good fuck buddy"
Took three klonopin and turned all my jeans into jorts. I miss you
My vagina is officially offended.
he just used a semicolon in the middle of a sext
he just sent me a dick pic, it highly resembled a cheese stick
I wonder how drunk we can get before Christmas Caroling turns into trespassing.
you thought the best thing to say to him was "you aint no fuckin cop"
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