turns out the website for Dick's Sporting goods is not "dicks.com". It was a win either way.
i literally laid in bad for an hour last night thinking of what i'm going to name my cats when i become a cat lady.
this chick on a show just showed her boobs and let some guy paint them others asked why she did it and her reply i quote "i was bored" why dont chicks get bored more often
she said she didn't want to sleep with me again because I wasnt a generous lover. I ignored her slight moustache, didnt i? i think thats pretty damn generous
when I picked him up he smelled like cheeseburgers, had a bite mark around his left nipple and we think someone stabbed him in the forehead with a pencil... it was like the Hangover meets Texas Chainsaw Massacre
Is there a technical name for reverse cowgirl? I'm trying to maintain a little dignity with my mother here
Uhh, there's a legit bruise on my boob.. Again how does he manage this
yeah, I said "hi, I'm the creepy old guy at the college bar" and she said that she like mature men, wasn't expecting that line to work
I never thought I'd say this but my vagina is taking a serious break for awhile
juast therw a cheeeeesestirng over the fnce. stuckit to sombodys car winheild... gonna luagh if i find it mlted in the mrning.
I broke down outside of an all boys correctional facility
well if that's not a gay porn waiting to happen, i dont know what is...
my roommate just said she thinks she got a flashback or some memory of me getting hit by a car.
I didn't realize how drunk I was until my vagina was in the snow.
You said you were uncomfortable with your body and then you started making whale noises
I'm pmsing and only have one functional foot
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