I may not go down in history, but i will definitely go down on your little sister.
Omg just want to confirm: got drunk, naked in street, fucked in bathroom and puked on bart.
Got laid at the last second. Facebook chat is good for something afterall.
don't ever try to run hungover. just puked mid-run in front of an old couple that were going for a walk. they were horrified.
You were petting your shoe and saying this makes me really happy
Yea. I think between making the bride puke, feeling up the maid of honor, and sleeping with a bridesmaid. I did my part.
you know something has gone wrong in your life when you've gotten a court order to stay away from ALL mc donalds.
she's my drunk super hero.
I was actually high enough at that point that I was just casually following your glowing footsteps like in Avatar while we ran from the cops.
he called me from germany to tell me about all the gummy bears he bought...i'm doubting his sobriety
There is a really great story behind the missing Coco Puffs and vodka mystery
Dammit labor day drinking cancelled due to 3 inch long table saw cut to palm
Literally the only reason we didnt get arrested was because the cop said I reminded him of Steve Stifler from American Pie
I also woke up in a guys bed in a Reptar shirt yesterday morning staring at a movie theater sized poster of the not as popular Air Bud franchise movie Super Buddies.
do I look like a person who has full control of their limbs and existence on this plane of reality
I think we might need a safe word for this...
Randomize
