Changed my sheets. Found a can of rockstar, crushed bag of tostitos, used tissues, and enough of both of our clothes to make a whole outfit.
you kept naming everything at the party...like "boy i'm going to make out with" and "table i'm going to dance on later"
he's werid. hell kiss me after i go down on him but he wont kiss me after i eat anything with mustard.
Rode my bike to work still drunk. Almost threw up on a camper while getting him out of his parents car.
Why doesn't the washer have a puke setting?
I gave you head at the stadium on a Thursday night ESPN game. That damn well better be worth points on the score board!!!
Your place is a magnet for either righteous parties or crippling alcohol dependency. Lets find out which together
I have just disproved the common belief that it is impossible to have mediocre sex in a fire truck.
The fire in my vagina flames on. Fucking terrible firefighter
I'm supposed to be studying for finals but all I can think about is blowing him on a sea doo this summer
I slept with him that night and I'm not sure if my lack of enthusiasm was obvious but I found him eating ice cream in the bathtub the next morning. Mom will be so proud.
Hes drunk and dancing naked. I can hear his dick smacking his legs from the next room.
I was living a snoop dogg song I fucked her on the floor so I wouldn't mess up my bed
25 likes of a picture on Instagram of my butthole. beat that.
I'm actually drinking gin and juice out of a floridas natural carton...so if that has any indication of how I'm doing
I'm now having weird sexual fantasies about that riverdancing figure skater. So thanks for that.
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