I think I left something in your back seat.... It was my integrity
Sometimes, in the course of human events, people get lit on fire.
Just realized the hot girl at the office got a boob job over the Holiday.....she is now super-hot girl.
I gave her at least chlamydia. Maybe worse. She is also into chicks and loves taking naked pics. It's like the less I believe in Jesus, the more he rewards me.
i would have thought, that you two being my best friends, one of you would have atleast tried to catch me before i hit the ground after blacking out.
Yeah its great. Whenever we want a new bowl we hand it to Trevor and he clears it in one hit. Definitely one of the benefits to having a swimmer in your circle.
If it makes you feel any better, I had my finger up some guy's butt today... Dominatrix training, ya know...
Just fat and dog and sweat all over the bed. All night long.
Do you remember lying across two tables saying 'go away I'm trying to pull' to me, Sollie and Sean?
So I woke up with a terribly bandaged finger an then discovered a pot of bloody onions on the stove.....who the fuck decided it was a good idea for me to try and cook
I like that you use a Disney movie to describe the starting of our BDSM relationship, lmao
i swear i was one second from getting his number and then the shrooms kicked in
idk what the male equivelent of vajazzling is but it better be worth the time
Tell me I'm drunk and you have to come get me. It's usually true. They'll believe you.
I just woke up in a prom dress on your bathroom floor, yea I'm 32.
Randomize
