I told him I had my daily dose of vitamin c so i wouldn't blow him
He tried. I said no. He said, "It's ok if I do this?" and proceeded to jerk himself off. Oh, the French.
ohhh no, absolutely not. i am waaayyy too superstitious to have sex with the self-proclaimed "baby-maker" on father's day...
Seeing a catheter being inserted into a penis severely diminished my sex life
She made out with me for a free sandwich. What makes you think she is NOT up to my standards?
we are currently watching a singalong porn...just thought you should know
Land Before Time marathon. we drink every time littlefoot almost eats a treestar.
He dared me to drink a bottle of olive oil in exchange for a 30 pack... So much for loosing the freshman fifteen this year.
id say bad/good trip...at first I wanted to claw off my skin... but then when i tried i ended up tickling myself for an hour.
My fridge broke, and apparently the back is missing. The repair guy just fixed it with a pizza box. I didn't ask where the box came from, but it wasn't mine. Reason #20 why rent is cheap.
Well on a lighter note, I had sex in a food truck.
I wasn't half as drunk as u but u were saying u were a "worm" and u tried to slither out of my grasp
I decided I was tough enough to wax my bikini area myself. Long story short, I'll be drunk when you get home
My manager just held my hair while I threw up in a dumpster. New low.
Put on my pants to go to work and discovered they had melted.
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