I accidentally burped into my bong.
that's fine. btw we still need $500 for the donkey...
So they call this "a walk of shame" but fuck that...this walk is fantastic. What kind of debbie downer came up with that name?
The last thing I remember is funneling tequila out of a pink noodle.
We had to introduce ourselves in ethics class. This guy stood up said I'm mark, I love sluts and Jack. Then just sat back down. Hero status.
I was to drunk to walk in jimmy john's so I called and got a pickle delivered to me outside the bar , too much?
We have to have sex while I'm dressed as a tiger. It's one of my life goals
Don't feel bad sweetie, you're not the only classy one in town. I'm still driving around with that tupperware of tequila in my cup holder from last week's Margarita Monday.
But the drunk streaking fizzled when one of jake's friends took a piss while running with a massive erection.
A big dick and how quickly they respond to snapchat is all I look for in a guy
My brother walked up to us as we were making out and was like "hey man, go to town!" and winked
I danced with a french guy who licked the sweat off my neck and poured a drink on me. Not gonna lie, that shit was refreshing
I'm really glad I had vomit on my sweater when I met his sister.
He literally poured blue Gatorade on me after we had sex and said "good game" all over my white sheets
Remind me to NEVER AGAIN mix beer with tequila with beer with whiskey with vodka with rum with vodka.
Randomize
