how about we just leave your boyfriend out of this
it turns out jennifers body is not good to beat off to. yeah its megan fox but when she pukes up blood = goodbye boner
In hindsight buying the pill crusher with my vicodin prescription might have been too much.
Im in search of the perfect penis, it would be unethical for me not to test run them.
I'm just concerned it's gonna end up in my vagina again
You climbed into the Suite next to us at the game so you could steal the half eaten hot dog someone had left on the table. That high.
MASS TEXT: Lets start a new tradition. Black Friday log pic contest. I'm waiting.
have you ever seen all dogs go to heaven this is important
Remember that time a drunk Dracula took a shit in the urinal? Ooh, that's right, it was last night.
the police report says i screamed sanctuary from a jungle gym at the playground when they caught up with us, obviously they disregarded international law.
come pick your gf up from my house. she's sitting in the fridge and hissing at the cat to let her eat the potatoes. btw i dont have a cat
you started putting peanut butter on your pubes.
No way man ... This is real life. Complete sentences and everything.
You did what with his pubic hair?
Plus he probably didn't want to be at home, alone... Jacking off on the big screen without you there to lend a helping hand. I mean, let's be honest. It's not fun if it's not a little weird.
Randomize
