oh wait, my morality sensor is a little fucked up since I almost let my little sister's friend blow me.
After I talked about my ex for about twenty minutes, she just listened, sluts are so understanding
I hate the awkward morning-after-I-took-your-virginity conversations.
I sold my books for weed money!
Finals don't start for a week...
You know, be my cock's hype man.
besides im still about 80% sure that im eskimo brothers with jerry springer
i just had to hear from a third party that he came inside of me
This time, try to not get fingered in the middle of the living room.
I DIDNT GET FINGERED
I was rubbed
I can't wait for you to see these terrible photos I'm about to have taken with some stripper looking girls. I don't know what this photographer is thinking
I might come over. Something about you makes me matronly and I have this urge to nurse you back to health with soup and a blowjob
I swear to go if the response she sends me something along the lines of who the fuck is Mark Hamill I might need to brake up with her.
It's dollar drink night and I have my honors society initiation tomorrow. Somehow I think this will not end well.
Help. I am eating nachos. But I'm with some guy. I need help. I don't know where I am. The nachos were so good. I'll bring them but help me.
Also, feel like I need to install a nanny cam to remind myself what I did the night before.
you pulled out seven eyelashes and made me count them multiple times whilst crying hysterically.
Randomize
