Sometimes I feel like I shouldn't drink when I come out of a black out half naked covered in puke. Then I realize thats why I drink.
can we please move this conversation out of my vagina?
I just smelled my beer. It smells like coming home.
I fucked her to her "thinking of him" playlist. Sucks to be that guy haha
the only good thing about these hospital visits are the free pregnancy tests
Sometimes one must go to great lengths and make great sacrifices to get drunk. I willingly accept the challenge.
But it's not about our feelings, it's about making the men we sleep with feel awful about their lives
I definitely paid for a case and a fifth and all I got was 6 beers and a crown and coke. Wtf. Bar math sucks
You may be in san diego, but I just watched a guy in a wheelchair sing walking in memphis for karaoke. Check and mate.
I'm just going to lay in a blanket cocoon of self pity for the next few months.
The party got hot, we all started raging, took off some clothes, someone threw me in the shower and we all kept raging. Nude Rager, I was there at the point of conception.
My jeans are ripped and her glitter was all over me.. My walk of shame looked like I fucked a unicorn last night
you were caressing the jar of pickles then you looked down and whispered to them "I want you inside me"
If waking up at 6 50 pm every day and getting invited to go have sex as you wake up is what alcoholism is like I can get use to this.
I hear my roommate snoring and I feel bad for his girlfriend but then I hear them having sex and I guess it all works out in the end.
Randomize
