please pick me up with an explanation of why i shacked in a trailer with a guy who doesnt have a car.
No matter how drunk I am, I will take the time to wipe a pube off the toilet seat.
Today a TA in one of my classes told me he thought I was 35 and going back to school as an adult learner. Alcohol is working me.
Cure to hiccups..road head..high five
Today was the day I stopped kidding myself and started buying the handle of vodka.
My TA just asked me why I was late to class. How do I say because I was having the best orgasm of my life in Arabic?
What hospital were we in last night? Insurance needs to know
She kept chasing him yelling thief, because he drank some of her drink. That was at 8, it got worse.
I may or may not have shit out a layer of my liver after that weekend.
I think not having bongs in close range is good for my academia
CALL 911 HAND IS STUCK IN THE GARBAGE DISPOSAL. HELP
Do we still have any pizza left from last night?
I want to just live in between your butt cheeks.
Like I want to yell at him for pissing on my floor but there's still a chance its my pee....
I sexted him with a GIF from titanic and it worked....
Newest quarantine problem - I’ve watched all of the porn. Like everything on the the internet, all the DVDs, mags, VR, leisure suit Larry all of it and I’m still horny af
Randomize
