after last nights cooking expirments i have lost all faith in the fire alarm battery
I was told u were the one who could explain to me why i woke up in the running shower, still in my dress and heels
she looks like she scalped a horse for her weave
I'm not embarrassed about the lap dance. I'm embarrassed for the singing during.
just woke up to a get well card i wrote myself when i was drunk. it was by the advil. i am a cocky bitch.
One last question would your parents let me sleep in your bathtub for the night?
I should show up to the gym drunk more often. I felt like i really motivated all the fat people.
I THREW AWAY MY VIBRATOR BECAUSE IT INTIMIDATED HIM. WORST. DECISION. EVER
Nothing like wearing your heels and smelling like henney in the afternoon
Covered in confetti and bad decisions
I see your smile in the face of every drunk that senses he's about to slay a troll.
You need a sexual gate keeper
No. I either had a 6 minute orgasm or I had so many I lost count. I'm still not sure.
So how was the sex with me last night?
No worse than usual.
I wanna snuggle with you as we feed each other chipotle burrito bowls and that's just where I'm at right now
i out mim tonsoeep
Randomize
