i just watched a special on porn, the business isn't doing so good. You may want to wait before you start your career
I'm in new territory... I've never had to convince a guy to let me give him head as an apology.
She started licking your face, then you turned to me and said "I guess thats my cue", and you proceeded to hook up with her.
My roommate threw his shoe through our window and I came out of my blackout kicking holes in my wall. Pretty sure Edward 80 Hands won't be happening anymore.
My body is a temple...that happens to be able to get me free Patron shots at the bar
Either I'm still drunk or the right side of the bed is now the left side.
Apparently getting drunk at a philanthropy event and tweeting about it is "frowned up"
I tried to stop that, but then I pulled the leaves out of my panties and went to sleep.
I just remembered that you tried to trade me for a glass of wine
I got custody of our girlfriend in the breakup.
Nothing too major over here lately. Just had a date with an ex-internet porn star turned lawyer. He said: "at my 3rd burning man I taught a workshop on BDSM" and I knew it was going to be a fun night.
I think my teeth are moving, they feel like people.
Rebecca hasn't has this number in 3 months. Please tell all her friends to stop calling at 3 am. We are not interested in buying or selling drugs nor do we want to hook up with anyone. You all need to go to rehab.
i'm high and self actualising, please send help
I wasn't going to drink tonight, but was reminded this is the anniversary of prohibition being repealed. If I don't, then I am against my profession of bartending and anti-American, right?
Randomize
