There was something that i liked about you, but you spent it
we've been dating more than a month and i just realized there's no hair on his chest..
you've had sex with him. you must've seen him naked.
nah, i feel like naked sex would be getting too serious for us..
so i turned around to do some reverse cowgirl when he said that this was such a better visual for him. Bad compliment or serious insult. i cant tell
Sorry I didn't wanna double team his sister. Having whiskey dick and watching you get laid didn't sound appealing
you looked up at me mid puke with tears in your eyes and asked to make sure no one took your turn at Wii
about to get into a hot tub with three cops. this cant go well
It was only 12:11 and I needed to make a Pepto Latte and call it a night, I don't remember that being part of my new years resolution.
Do you think I could put your penis on reserve for tonight or tomorrow night?
Tell her this is the Disneyland of penises.It's a magical place everyone should visit once in their life.
The DJ was throwing glowsticks into the crowd and managed to smack one guy in the face with them
the second she challenged me to mario kart drinking game i knew i was in love
The last thing I remember is talking to the firefighter next to me and he was giving me fruit.
My mom's yelling at me for being a whore and my dad's quizzing me on how to drive in winter weather....I'm home!
Dude, I just turned down sexual favours because I need to study... What the fuck is wrong with me?
She asked me if I could do that to her every single time. I said nope. sometimes it's better.
Randomize
