There is no way to make a throwing up smiley so just picture it....
Is it a bad that I spent my 5 year anniversary with my husband texting my ex boyfriend?
Anyone who says sunshine brings happyness has never woken up with the worst hangover of their life to their window being open and it being a bright shinny day
sperm doesn't mix with malibu too well
how should i go about explaining the hickey i drunkenly gave myself last night?
She was crying and singing Taylor Swift on repeat. I'm never drinking with her again.
And he tried to make it as casual as possible by asking where i was going on vacation while he was poundin me.
Just found a bottle of tequila in the washer.
One thing noone tells you about getting put in the drunk tank is do it barefoot. You get free flipflops.
true friends will drive 3 hours to come smoke a couple blunts with you on the bridge where your car broke down
What if our hands were octopus tentacles?
You're an idiot.
It's just weird. It's like Big Bird dating Meg Griffin.
It's going to be so weird waking up tomorrow morning fully rested completely sober and not covered in piss or bruises.
Im wearing black today mourning the orgasm i couldn't get this morning :(
That portable toilet under the bed? Turns out it was a tuba. Explains alot.
Randomize
