i soberly give you permission to do that to me when im drunk
i fell asleep on him beating off on webcam last night, i'm such a great boyfriend.
Well, it's 24 hours till finals. I need high A's on all of them and I still am not sure where exactly on campus most of my classes took place.
on the way to work, i saw an empty wine bottle sitting in the middle of an intersection. i thought of you.
i can respect that.
i cant get the smell of ass out of my nose
I think I ordered pizza when I got home. The email said the delivery time was noon today. So if that shit shows up I am the most amazing drunk on the planet.
he's downstairs watching tv with my family... I called the home line so my mom could bring me my make up bag cause my real face would prob make him delete my number
Nope, I'm sticking to passive aggressive punishments. Like mismatching his socks and cumming on his leather couch. OCD is so wonderful.
Your 13 year old niece and her best friend half carried you from the beach to the pool where you then clung onto a raft and screamed about having pretty hair.
You chugged 6 beers in a row and then outed your boss at a party last night.
Eh. Fuck him. He's missing out. I'm legit naked and drinking straight from the bottle of wine.
I serenaded the cat in the hat for a few 90s songs but idk who he is
Just discovered I was so fucked up last night I called in sick to work... TWICE
Dude there's ten thousand dollars worth of damage to the kids house and three thousand in stolen property and his dog is missing he is pissed
If I give him back his dog do you think he'll invite me to the next party
I Never thought my late 30s would end up with me getting eaten out on a desk in the managers office of a lululemon, but I guess being a franchise owner has its perks!
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