idk, it's all black and i hear low talking...
dude, i think you're in initiation!
shit. that's not good.
you should just get pregnant. that way you don't need to decide on a career.
It smells like ranch
Must be all the white people
heres the thing, we have 120 cans of beer left in the fridge. until thats finished we cant fit food in the fridge
Last comment. I know of no exercises, diets or practices out there to help keeping balls young and healthy. They simply succumb to gravity.
Someone asked me why we were having sex on the porch last night. All I remember is him saying he wanted the recruits to see. This has got to stop.
the whole bar just wished me luck with my booty call tonight
Jelly. This is your "are you still alive" text. Any response will do.
Hey I found a cat!
It's 4:30 AM and I just walked through a line of 10 deer without them freaking out. I am the campus deer king.
I don't suppose you have a recipe for a cocktail made of bitter resignation, regretting everything, poor life descisions and deep-seated self-loathing?
I mean it's up to you where you want to sleep but I'm telling you you're going to hear us have sex no matter what room you're in.
Fair enough
Burnt food and a broken vibrator. Disappointment after disappointment. Is April a man?
Will you still call me Bond when I'm sober?
I don't get a "my roommate is fucking you" discount?!
I sent him nudes while he is at work because I am an evil human being.
Randomize
