:( I miss blowjobs.
This is probably the strangest conversational segue we've ever had.
did u really fuck my little sister???
im not saying yes or no but just know that my answer rhymes with "mess"
His room was full of guns. It was like having sex with Clint Eastwood.
Doctor said I have sports induced asthma.
Call me old fashioned, but around here we call that "out of shape."
You kept screaming "Its taco night!" before every shot
Puking green right now......... jaimison mcflurry very bad idea
I think mounting someone proves who's house this is
Is it bad if one of my goals right now is to snort blow through a licorice?
Don't answer that. It is bad.
I also think about what hot dudes penises are gonna look like when theyre 80 and it's not pretty
I just want you to know that I am dancing around my apartment by myself singing Taylor Swift into a wine bottle. Do hurry.
The amount of knuckle children I've had to the Farrah Abraham sex tape is disturbing and impressive
Ooo, yeah! Thanksgiving will be a blast. Can't fuckin wait for the next round of "have you found a nice young man yet?" Followed by a lovely helping of "don't worry, there's someone out there for you."
You were taking in your sleep. You were like Jess that's that animal we were talking about and you Hugged her feet
I went out with a plan. I came home with a Brian. THIS WAS NOT PART OF THE PLAN.
Drunk me commented on almost all of her pictures. My favorite one is titled "be as the sea". My comment is "cold, rough, large and letting anyone come inside you. you accomplished." Guessing I'm not invited to the party anymore.
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