Omg. Never. Take a laxative the day you are going on. A date.
Please don't call me names while I'm carrying your child.
just met our mailman at a party, he asked me out. i said yes, but only if he picks me up in the mail truck. how jealous are you
went to the gyno and found out that i have a birthmark on my clit. its like god gave guys a little help when it comes to getting me off.
I found those 18 whoppers we bought.
Hairspray is covering 85% of my body. Help.
Wait until you see the roof.
you wanted the guy to gift wrap the condoms
He sent me $300 worth of sex toys. My clitoris went into hiding after two days.
well let's see. after you forcefully shoved a half-eaten apple in my mouth, you ruined the pepsi by dumping an entire beer in there.
totally just got a week extension on my midterm by telling my prof that I had just found out I was adopted
I bought him bourbon as a thank you for his apology. What is wrong with me?
I wish university was like frosh week all the time and then they just give you a degree for surviving
Anyone see the sob who took the piñata?
Dog. I woke up between my ex boyfriend witch i'm currently fucking and his bestfriend spooning me in MY bestfriends empty powerless house still really fucked up. No one knows what happend.
I'm wearing men's underwear
I don't know what to do with that information...
Randomize
